#10: The Letter. That's all.

Today's post is kind of cheating, except not. Here's a recap of our year.

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Hello! Another year, another letter, and we find ourselves in the throes of Winter when the last one only ended in July. The Pacific NW has a remarkable ability to abruptly change its mind without anybody bitterly egging its houseor unfriending it on Facebook. And so, in the spirit of bigger and better, we've thumbed our collective noses to the four seasons and upgraded to SUVs, aka urban assault vehicles, aka the Mystery Machine pts. 1, 2 and 3. Turns out they're great for conquering snow but still equally as dangerous if you're a stupid driver, and Dad claims none of us know how to drive under 50mph. HELLO, we know what happens, we saw 'Speed'.

We've grown since you last saw us! That's right, WE'VE BEEN WORKING OUT. And by ‘we’ I mean Kyle, because let's be honest, the last time I ran anywhere it was into a sliding glass door at Molly's baby shower--not my finest hour, but I thought it was pretty funny myself. Another year gone by means another year of honing our respective skills: saving old ladies from burning buildings, imparting our knowledge to young minds, and developing new ways to productively use our free time. Which, by the way, is how we figured out that when you jump out and scare Mom, you absorb the years you just knocked out of her and long story short, that's how Leslie got to be so good-looking.

Enough about that.

Dad & Mom are loving being grandparents, except we're not calling them that because that makes them feel old. Mom prefers NanaGram and Dad seems to be fine with whatever. (We’re lobbying for Papa Elf or Grumpy. Go online and vote! Okay not really.) For this year's vacation they got creative and masterminded a stay-cation which included packing all of us + 2 dogs into their home at Long Lake. No food poisoning, no broken shower doors, and no throwing Grace into the lake at midnight, made for a tame week. We were due for one of those. It was days later that Grace moved out, rendering Mom & Dad empty nesters and Mom discovered the compulsive personality she'd thought had gone out the door somewhere around 1999 had merely been lurking dormant. (Hey! The house stays clean!) As for what they are doing with themselves, the answer is life and death. CooCum (Dad's mother) was diagnosed with cancer in late January, prompting a six-month battle that involved Mom sharing with the aunties in living with and caring for her before her death in August. Our grief was offset by the arrival of the twins, through which Mom has discovered her expertise with the cell phone camera. Dad, for his part, is breaking all the rules (i.e. don't wake a sleeping baby) by pulling the grandparent card, and keeps threatening to retire and become a hermit. We're thinking the twins bought us a few years on that one.

Luke & Erica hit two years of marital bliss and became wine club members. Luke graduates from George Fox mid-December with his B.A. (only took 10 years!), and thus ends his apprenticeship at Fortis Construction (aka the-job-which-took-me-180-miles-round-trip-every-day-for-a-year), and is looking for work. His favorite color is the Beatles, and he has Apple TV and isn't afraid to use it. Erica traveled to Bulgaria, Haiti, China, and Rwanda and only brought back one parasite, to which we say cut your losses, it could be worse: living near your husband's family and bringing home a parasite. We take intestinal discomfort very seriously. And by that I mean not at all. Erica also took a 2-week Caribbean cruise with her mom to celebrate their 30th/60th birthdays, and would like to go on the record as saying that she loves her new decade and you know what else? Her rec league volleyball team is undefeated. So shut up.

Molly & Isaac delivered twin boys (Grayson Randal and Blake Richard) on October 4th, an event heavy on the smoke and lights. And that was just the family's pre-funk. Come induction day there was much anxiety on Molly's part, whereas we tromped around the hospital touting pregnancy flash cards and shouting words like EPIDURAL and MEMBRANE then telling everyone we're homeschoolers. Blake's 8lb2oz + Grayson's 7lb5oz = C-section, a fact they will never live down. Molly complains that ever since getting married, Isaac steals all of her Christmas letter ink. As if having two babies at once doesn't already crown her the Thor of Mommyland. I say beggars can't be choosers and we can't all marry a total dish. But fair is fair, so here you go: Molly worked full time at the VA until the twins started slowing her down, at which point she setup camp on the sofa and played Angry Birds. (Happy? No? WHAT.) Isaac still fights fires and works on cars and stuff. Boring.

I (Annie) did nothing this year but work a lot and burn a few bridges. (A rapier wit will do that -- I'm not sorry.) One of these days I'll take advantage of working for a private University and enroll in classes, but for now I do things like teach dance (still), over-commit myself (still), and take Mexican vacations. I spent a week in Cabo San Lucas and returned with a tan just this side of jaundice. (Milky white is the new bronze--thank you, Twilight.) That was followed up by a sailing excursion wherein bets were placed on which roommate would be the first to go overboard, and Robin has since applied for sainthood. Over the summer I pulled a temporary relief stint with the Graphic Designers I Used To Work For, spending nine weeks being reminded of the differences between doctorates and artists. (It's mostly the usage of big words vs. Apple products. Also, the occasional F-bomb.) And I continue to work with CYT, most recently prompting my students to coin the phrase 'the fear of Ms. Annie' after one particularly rough rehearsal. Again...I'm not sorry.

Alex & Jaleesa moved into a new house in August and have discovered the joys of digging sprinkler ditches and landscaping your very own corner of paradise. They also added a dog to the mix, a chihuahua conveniently the size of your foot. Her name is Lilo, and Alex says she requires more attention than the house. Though once the babies arrived she went (more) bizerk, and don't get us started on what happened when Jaleesa's parents gifted Alex (right) another dog for Christmas, this one named a black lab named Lucy. Alex continues at Principal Financial, and in his cynicism claims that once you start working, life gets more lame. Jaleesa teaches for the Riverside School District, and enjoys whipping the next generation into shape. We like to think our maturity and lack of manners prepared her to work with children, so JUKES, YOU’RE WELCOME. She says she kicked all of our butts at tubing during family vacation but that's just 'cause she drew blood by nearly breaking Grace's nose. (It made for great pictures.)

Kelsey had a big year on the employment front, moving from working with juvenile delinquents to dispatching for Spokane County Sheriff’s Department. (But it's fine, her family of delinquents keep her busy.) She works 50 hours a week and has forgotten what two consecutive days off look like. She said some other stuff too but I'll stop there. KK has managed to fix all of our cars this year, which she says (along with family sushi nights and her proven ability to organize an awesome pub crawl) keeps her sane. Her goal and determination is to be the coolest aunt, which will probably happen because when have any of us beat her at anything? She gives them til age 8 to learn how to snowboard and cliff-jump, at which point they'll be trained as mechanics and we'll see if they can be the first to pass the "tell me what this tool does" test. Oil, brakes, you know, the basics. (I didn’t know that. So…) It's gotta be passed on to someone, her back won't last forever.

Kyle is this year's bummer, said only because when I asked him what he did this year, he suggested I recycle his info from last year and see if anyone notices. But I'd much rather make some of it up, so you be the judge. Kyle earns a decent living being a referee, spending his time keeping basketball players in line while simultaneously telling their parents to sit down and shut up. Ah, power. He is also the proud owner of a Subaru Outback, which Auntie Pretty says is a girl car. (And then all the Portlanders rose up to defend its honor.) Kyle's 22nd birthday, while a celebration of maturity and also achieving his second recorded palindrome, wasn't nearly as awesome as his 21st. After all how can you beat taking a dozen people to Vegas? Did I mention he got married? Yep. In other news, Kyle moved in with Auntie Pretty and recently learned how to play the piano on his iPhone. Must have been how he wooed that lovely wife of his.

Leslie is in her second year at WWCC, racking up all kinds of awesome memories including but not limited to beating Spokane (at Spokane), developing a mysterious rash, and pinching a nerve in her face. The latter which prompted us to believe it had finally stuck like that. Other milestones include earning 2nd Team in the NWAACC eastern region, 1st Team during the tournament in March (where her team took 2nd overall), and getting her first speeding ticket. That's right, the self-proclaimed 'most lovable child' finally caught up with the rest of us, and it was a lukewarm reception at best. Leslie blames her Hoopfest loss on Molly's inability to play, and claims that she showed me up while tubing during family vacation. Because it's oh, so impressive to beat your sister whose arms resemble Ramen noodles and who, thanks to many failed barrel rolls, can kiss her chiropractor-free days goodbye. Leslie loves being an auntie and enjoys Walla Walla even though they won't let her visit the State penitentiary (whaaaaat the..?!)

Grace moved out of the house, and in with Kelsey. It's a good fit -- Grey cleans and Kels fixes. WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED?? She says it's not her fault that her year was extremely boring. She attends SFCC and is in love with a kid from her Sociology class, but has yet to learn his name. (She can corral an entire gym of unruly children but can’t eke out a ‘hello’ to the object of her affection. I’m so confused.) The big news is that she got her license back, making it that much easier for her to work her butt off and make the rest of us look bad. Grace is this family’s indie sensation, sporting impeccable taste in fashion, music, and assuming total knowledge of everything. She loves her nephews but maintains that she won't be having any kids, which I suppose is better than the gratuitous advice everyone else offers. We've decided the reason rooming with Kelsey works so well is because they share an affinity for death by fitness, and should you ever decide to join them for a workout, be forewarned they are not above name-calling. They also use this technique on their sisters' (and heck, their own) potential suitors.

Aaaand that's our year! This is us taking a collective bow and wishing you the very best in 2012. Thanks for loving us and caring enough to read til the end; your selflessness is admirable and your focus remarkable. Next year we'll plan ahead and have door prizes! Until then, we love you, have a Merry Christmas, and don't do anything we wouldn't.

Love, The Stillars