And then, the world got just a bit better-looking.

A tribute to the new men in our lives, Grayson and Blake. Because their father has his hands full and their mother probably won't remember anything.


--


Dear B & G,


I was to meet friends for drinks tonight, but after a day of bragging about how beautiful and smart my new nephews are, I was exhausted. Even though all I did was sit on my butt and wait for you to get here. But any activity involving this family is borderline exhausting, as you will soon find out, so tonight I laid down for a 'quick nap' and woke up two hours later. Thus, I'm in for the night and it's just me, my laptop and my friend New Amsterdam.

Yesterday was the big day. You're the first grandbabies, which means the cavalry was called in for your arrival. Be grateful, I'm sure your cousins won't get the same reception. In fact I'd say its already lost its novelty, which means by the time I get around to having kids the family will be all OH HEY, CALL US WHEN YOU GET HOME. TWEET AS YOU GO. STAY BEAUTIFUL!



You were induced, then you wouldn't budge. Which probably means you're stubborn, like your mama. She was a champ throughout your labor & delivery. But then she's always been that way. When she was born (back in 1983, that's a year before the floppy disk was invented, IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING), my dad told his in-laws that she'd been dropped on her head. And they believed him. She grew up to be strong-willed, determined, loyal, and incredibly loving. Her siblings admire and look up to her so much. She's knowledgeable, gracious, and she looks great in sweatpants. Your dad, he's tall and handsome, full of integrity. We really lucked out with him. I've seen him love my family better than we ourselves know how to, all for love of and commitment to his wife. You scored in the parental department, don't you ever forget it.

Your mom is a nurse, I remember all the years she spent in school and how we used to bring eachother coffee. Despite the fact that Mom says we hated eachother as kids (and I believe it), we became close friends in our later years. When your dad came along I pretended to hate him (I was only half serious) and when he got the idea to propose, I was the only one he told because he needed me to find out Molly's ring size. I kept that secret for weeks and it almost killed me. NEVER AGAIN. I still remember the message he left me the day he asked my parents' permission. He was nervous and excited and apparently flustered because he kept repeating himself... OH MY GOSH I'M SO NERVOUS! OKAY SO... GOING TO SEE YOUR PARENTS TODAY AND...UM...YEAH, GOING TO SEE YOUR PARENTS...JUST HAD TO TELL SOMEBODY...NERVOUS! I'M NERVOUS! He's since recovered and now works as a firefighter for the City. Which means he knows every street in town, in case you ever get lost and don't have a GPS handy. But we're pretty sure you're already outfitted with tracking devices. Precautionary measure.

Back to yesterday.


I arrived at the hospital around 530p, and my sister was hunched over the bed looking miserable. Soon the waiting room was full, and we resorted to filming ourselves in slow motion to pass the time, until finally your Aunt Kelsey asked where the hospital bar was? Wait, there isn't one? I feel like that would be a good idea...


The doctor came in, and ordered a C-section. My dad arrived just as Molly was being wheeled through the doors, gave her a kiss, and then you were gone. Your dad scrubbed up, walked the catwalk for pictures sake, and went back to the O.R. to meet you. And then the waiting game began, which was really only 45 minutes or so because your doctor was a total rock star and had you out of there in no time. You were moved to the nursery except we didn't get the message right away, so when the nurse came around the corner and said ARE YOU GOING TO GO SEE THEM?, it launched a mass exodus which totally broke the 'quiet' rule. And suddenly, there you were. On the other side of the too-small, very sound proof glass. You are tiny and amazing and remarkably un-wrinkly, weighing in at 8lbs 2oz and 7lbs 5oz, which is insane for twins. I hope you know you owe your mother like, a hundred lattes.


Your daddy, he stood there and cried with you as the rest of us stood on the other side of the glass. Precious time alone with you, and he had eyes only for you. We've always known he would make a phenomenal dad, based mostly on his keen eye for bullshit and also by the way he treats his dog. You're two very lucky boys. 

We stood there and stared at you for what seems like forever. My brother Luke and sister Leslie were on the phone, both having been in the middle of night class (college--psh), and it killed them not to be here to see you. You were being measured and manhandled, and you looked really unhappy about it. It was a classic play-by-play as we attempted to describe your little bodies and faces and hands... HE'S YAWNING! NOW HE'S CRYING! YAWNING AGAIN! and nobody cared, we were positively transfixed.


Now that you're finally here, you have so many people who just want to love on you. That's the great thing about our family -- we love well. It doesn't always look conventional or traditional, after all not everyone thinks it's funny (or loving) to sit around the dinner table "helping" you get over a break-up by discussing how glad they are he's gone, that it doesn't get more awkward than having to explain to some people (i.e. your grandma Cheryl) what "metrosexual" means. Oh, and they never liked him anyway. Then they run into him a few weeks later and decide that yes, it can get more awkward, but I will be happy to know they handled it like mature adults and hid their derisive remarks the only way they knew how, by being total bitches. We're talking the no-we-don't-hate-you-why-would-you-think-that routine, followed by everyone whipping out their cell phones to text nobody, and capped with a collective hair toss. AS YOU WERE.

I digress. Here is what you need to live a full and happy life, the rules are few and strong:

- Surround yourself with quality people and love them well.
- Know who you are, and wear it with confidence; don't be afraid to screw up, the experience will change your life.
- Never leave the house without your pants.

I'm tempted to go into how it's all downhill from here, but Molly would probably kill me. So.

I can't wait to spend more time with you, to gift you battery-operated toys and to impart the virtues of tall americanos. To teach you everything there is to know about flirting with girls, and how important it is to always open doors. You have a lot to learn, but for now, you're a mere 24 hours old and I'm sure you have other priorities. It's okay, I can wait.


Love you,
Me


p.s. News of your arrival got a whopping 47 'likes' on Facebook, which doesn't seem like a lot compared to the 750+ quote-unquote friends I have, but look at it this way: recounting how my roommate told an entire table of unsuspecting people that she and I are lesbians, only got 7 'likes', and if you knew my roommate you'd know how likeable she is. Perspective is everything!