I realize now that when they say "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas", it's because NOBODY REMEMBERS WHAT HAPPENED. Not that we partook in any scandalous behavior, nor were we at all responsible for the $2M heist at the Bellagio Hotel & Casino. But the rate at which that city moves (and doesn't stop) creates a black hole. Once you return to reality, it all becomes a blur. And that's if you were sober.
Call me old fashioned, but if you don't want any stories/pictures/etc. leaked, don't give people anything to talk about. In layman's terms, DON'T BE AN IDIOT. I suppose it's arguably relative, but abandoning inhibitions because it's only for a few days? Isn't that like sticking a knife into the light socket because it only lasts a few moments? No? Not the same thing?
I'm going to be that mom who says "If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you jump too?" and my kids are going to roll their eyes, so I'll be all HAVE YOU MET YOUR AUNTS & UNCLES? YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THAT.
When I write a book, there will be an entire chapter on Mom-isms. It'll be a fatty one, trumped only by the chapter poking fun at people who lament about how their parents won't pay for grad school. You're barking up the wrong tree, I didn't even go to high school.
As I was saying. There is nothing remotely endearing or redeeming about the Las Vegas strip, in fact it was altogether creepy, extravagant, overwhelming and excessive. I was telling my pastor about it -- he and his wife are two of my favorite people, I've spent hours in fellowship with them, whether to talk ministry or just for a beer around the campfire. I've never known Ryan to climb on a soapbox, unless it's to knock me off of mine. It's taken him no time at all to figure me out, which is off-putting and relaxing all at once. When I voiced my distaste for Vegas, he was all "You mean you didn't like a city built on a) taking people's money based on their greed for more b) taking people's emotions based on their desire for sex and c) taking people's souls based on their desire for meaning? What's WRONG with you?"
If you've ever visited a third world country, you know the complete poverty some people live in. I can't even claim to know a fraction of it, but when you've seen it firsthand you never forget. Most choose to ignore it; easy to do when you live in comfort. But for two days in Vegas, all I could think about was the depravity some are forced to live in, while we spend money to "improve" a place already the definition of gratification.
Perspective is a bitch sometimes. But I'm convinced it prevents ignorance, even if in small proportions.
Once there, we made the best of it. Anywhere my family goes is a guaranteed good time, and this was no different. By the time I'd landed (a full 5 hours later than the rest), they were exhausted and in need of naps, which was in my favor as all I wanted to do was sit and stare at the wall. We made dinner in the hotel room, cut Kyle's 21st birthday cake, then made our way to the MGM Grand where I won $45 playing Blackjack and decided that was enough. From there it was New York, New York and Coyote Ugly, where I may have insulted a guy who kept asking me where I was from. We then moved the party downstairs to Rok Nightclub, where the sisters danced the Stillar's equivalent to the Hokey Pokey (stand in a circle and don't let anybody in), which was more our laughing at each other than it was actual dancing... We got a kick out of ourselves, modestly dressed in jeans and scarves, looking fresh off the compound. Who cares, WE'RE IN VEGAAASS!!!!!
We tried to leave a few times and lost Kelsey, would turn around to find her surrounded by a crowd of onlookers clapping their encouragement, and she's all HEY GUYS! THEY THINK MY DANCING IS 'CONTAGIOUS'!
You don't say.
We visited the Venetian, Bellagio, Planet Hollywood, Bally's (where we found sushi then $1 margaritas), and our personal favorite, Fremont Street. Known as 'old Vegas', it ended up being a much better experience than it's celebrity partner. We hailed a stretch Hummer to take us there (an experience in its own right, see below) and this is where the story goes dark. Actually, I remember everything, I just don't like it. By the time midnight rolled around, I was tired and cranky and the Vegas vibe had long since gotten to me -- I sat down right there in the middle of the Golden Nugget and cried my eyes out. Yes, I'm 25 years old and I still cry when I'm tired. I wanted out of there, and my family (for all their sit-down-and-quit-bitching tendencies) were first to put their arms around me and say WE UNDERSTAND, NOW LET'S GO HOME.
Longer story made shorter, we all made it back in one piece, though a bit worse for wear. I don't know what it is about that place that makes people disappear. Night #1: we were in our beds and near sound asleep before someone realized Kyle wasn't with us. We spent all the next day listening to him harp on about how I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS JUST LEFT ME THERE. (Reminiscent of the time we took a vacation to Montana and left Alex at a rest stop. 3 vans, 14 kids, who can blame us?) Night #2: we arrived back at Polo Towers, shuffled everyone into one elevator and then noticed Jaleesa was AWOL. Great. She was just here. Everybody check your phones. No. What? She just TOOK OFF? Turns out she'd returned to NY NY to be with Alex, who was keeping Kyle company at the tables. But good lord, not telling us where you went is pretty jacked up. We may be irreverantly and seemingly careless, but 1) we don't advise walking the Las Vegas strip past midnight, alone albeit on a mission, and 2) being a Stillar only renders you invincible within the Spokane city limits. God knows what sort of creeps are out there looking to pollute the nearest gene pool, DO YOU KNOW HOW VALUABLE THIS DNA IS?
We don't either. But still, I hope her parents don't ask what happened.
I gladly boarded my flight home on Monday and spent the entire last leg chatting up the nice man next to me. He's a retiree who lives in Coeur d'Alene, and fascinated me with his stories of 30 years spent as a juvenile corrections officer in Alaska. It all started when the flight attendant hopped on the all-call and said LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, WELCOME ABOARD FLIGHT #2071 WITH SERVICE TO SPOKANE, ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE YOU TO YOUR MINNEAPOLIS-BASED FLIGHT CREW: MY NAME IS PATRICIA, AND IN THE AISLE IS MY CO-WORKER AND GOOD FRIEND, DAWN. We took one look at eachother and, in unison, said THEY'RE FRIENDS.
And from that point on, so were we.
Perspective is a bitch sometimes. But I'm convinced it prevents ignorance, even if in small proportions.
Once there, we made the best of it. Anywhere my family goes is a guaranteed good time, and this was no different. By the time I'd landed (a full 5 hours later than the rest), they were exhausted and in need of naps, which was in my favor as all I wanted to do was sit and stare at the wall. We made dinner in the hotel room, cut Kyle's 21st birthday cake, then made our way to the MGM Grand where I won $45 playing Blackjack and decided that was enough. From there it was New York, New York and Coyote Ugly, where I may have insulted a guy who kept asking me where I was from. We then moved the party downstairs to Rok Nightclub, where the sisters danced the Stillar's equivalent to the Hokey Pokey (stand in a circle and don't let anybody in), which was more our laughing at each other than it was actual dancing... We got a kick out of ourselves, modestly dressed in jeans and scarves, looking fresh off the compound. Who cares, WE'RE IN VEGAAASS!!!!!
We tried to leave a few times and lost Kelsey, would turn around to find her surrounded by a crowd of onlookers clapping their encouragement, and she's all HEY GUYS! THEY THINK MY DANCING IS 'CONTAGIOUS'!
You don't say.
We visited the Venetian, Bellagio, Planet Hollywood, Bally's (where we found sushi then $1 margaritas), and our personal favorite, Fremont Street. Known as 'old Vegas', it ended up being a much better experience than it's celebrity partner. We hailed a stretch Hummer to take us there (an experience in its own right, see below) and this is where the story goes dark. Actually, I remember everything, I just don't like it. By the time midnight rolled around, I was tired and cranky and the Vegas vibe had long since gotten to me -- I sat down right there in the middle of the Golden Nugget and cried my eyes out. Yes, I'm 25 years old and I still cry when I'm tired. I wanted out of there, and my family (for all their sit-down-and-quit-bitching tendencies) were first to put their arms around me and say WE UNDERSTAND, NOW LET'S GO HOME.
Longer story made shorter, we all made it back in one piece, though a bit worse for wear. I don't know what it is about that place that makes people disappear. Night #1: we were in our beds and near sound asleep before someone realized Kyle wasn't with us. We spent all the next day listening to him harp on about how I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS JUST LEFT ME THERE. (Reminiscent of the time we took a vacation to Montana and left Alex at a rest stop. 3 vans, 14 kids, who can blame us?) Night #2: we arrived back at Polo Towers, shuffled everyone into one elevator and then noticed Jaleesa was AWOL. Great. She was just here. Everybody check your phones. No. What? She just TOOK OFF? Turns out she'd returned to NY NY to be with Alex, who was keeping Kyle company at the tables. But good lord, not telling us where you went is pretty jacked up. We may be irreverantly and seemingly careless, but 1) we don't advise walking the Las Vegas strip past midnight, alone albeit on a mission, and 2) being a Stillar only renders you invincible within the Spokane city limits. God knows what sort of creeps are out there looking to pollute the nearest gene pool, DO YOU KNOW HOW VALUABLE THIS DNA IS?
We don't either. But still, I hope her parents don't ask what happened.
I gladly boarded my flight home on Monday and spent the entire last leg chatting up the nice man next to me. He's a retiree who lives in Coeur d'Alene, and fascinated me with his stories of 30 years spent as a juvenile corrections officer in Alaska. It all started when the flight attendant hopped on the all-call and said LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, WELCOME ABOARD FLIGHT #2071 WITH SERVICE TO SPOKANE, ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE YOU TO YOUR MINNEAPOLIS-BASED FLIGHT CREW: MY NAME IS PATRICIA, AND IN THE AISLE IS MY CO-WORKER AND GOOD FRIEND, DAWN. We took one look at eachother and, in unison, said THEY'RE FRIENDS.
And from that point on, so were we.
