I almost kissed him on the mouth, but figured a "Your mother raised you well" would suffice.

I would like to say a word about chivalry, and the distances it goes on a Monday.

I work on a college campus. Most guys that age have no problem shouting at you from thirty yards away and it would never dawn on them to actually hold the door instead of letting it go once you've had the chance to grab it with your foot. Yet despite seeing hundreds of them on a daily basis, my interaction is limited. My boss might beg to differ... he started a tally of how many guys stop by my desk and linger for longer than a minute talking about anything non-school related. 

Sigh. 

As I was saying. Interaction is limited! Then a year ago I began leading worship and landed three said college boys in my band. And not just any three. They were best friends, altogether irreverant and adorable and juvenile. They called themselves Annie and the Perfects, and I was their diva. Involuntarily, I might add. But behind closed doors, I was the mom... the responsible one, the fun nazi, the smile stealer, the fall guy.

I like to think that through it all, I've learned a thing or two about parenting. One can hope.

A lot has changed in a year. Of the four of us, three are worship leaders at our recent church plant. One is an intern at another local church. That sellout.

He's the quiet one. I affectionately call him The Dish. I've prayed for a long time that he'll marry my sister.

He was the one who seemed in tune to people, had a real gift for worship; he left the team in April. We all went out for drinks only to end up arguing for hours because that's just what happens when you get psychology, business and theology majors in the same room with the girl who doesn't like to be psycho-analyzed, has worked a full-time job from the age of 17 and is REALLY curious what you're ever going to do with your life. Respectively.

I digress.

He paid me a visit the other day, walked in with a vase of flowers, and when I asked WHAT ARE THOSE FOR he just shrugged and said MMMMM, 'CUZ.

(And then I was all 'use your words'...)

Apparently he'd found out through the grapevine that I'm now an ex-girlfriend instead of a girlfriend, and he knows that sucks to deal with so he felt I deserved the pick-me-up. And for my reaction, you'd think he grew them himself.

It was then I realized, with what I admit to be a kernel of validation, that these boys care. While I've always figured as such, reinforcement in the form of hand-delivered roses is a surefire way to redeem yourself for any and all indescrepencies as well as those of your wingmen.

What is more, his guessture seemed one of those "how loved am I?" moments that God chose to give me, not that I ever deserve them. And I'm reminded often (and sometimes painfully) of how bad I am at loving people. This has been on my mind and heart in great capacity. I do try, I'm just reaaalllly bad at it. And the reminders have come in the form of burdens to pray for the people I really don't care for. I've been both humbled and blessed.

So. I assured him I'm doing well... then he shared his story. Of being strung along... of attaching his heart, then being disappointed. I don't think there's any way he could know how well I can empathize (from a breakup past, not the one most recent), and all I could do in the moment was clutch my heart dramatically and say things like HHHOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOO and EEEECCCCHHHHHH. I hope he got the point.

Later on I was able to put my feelings into words and promptly gave him a lecture disguised as a thank-you:

"I think you're choice. Top-drawer, preferential, all that. You're it. I love my flowers, and I miss your sweet face. And what you are going through absolutely sucks. There is nothing you can do about it except trust that God's grace is sufficient, although pizza and beer helps too. A little disappointment now is bearable if it means avoiding the crap from having pursued something you knew you wouldn't want to work for later. Emotions are rough but they work themselves out in time. Seek the Lord -- He'll give you His heart. By all means, take it personal and be thankful that it's already a part of the strong and exceptional person you are turning into. Recognize that you are just as capable of letting people down. And remember that if you ever do to someone what that girl did to you, I will end you. I love you, but I'm serious."

On another note, me and my posse are personally gonna kick THAT girl's ass. Get your popcorn.